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I Am Blown Away…

So much suffering in this world, that anything I may go through just pales by comparison. Just pales. A night out for friends at a club, a few drinks. A few laughs. Dancing. Happy, young, upwardly mobile. Beautiful. Did I tell you how beautiful they all are? Faces shown on smartphones, tv screens, computes. They […]

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Grief and Bipolar Disorder

Let me start this blog off by saying that I am not a health care professional, nor am I licensed in any form of mental health capacity. All I am is a person in pain, having lost a dear loved one, and who also happens to suffer from Bipolar Disorder. So, in a sense, that […]

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this is tough, this being me. i say all kinds of euphemistic things: endure, be brave, be faithful… a memory stirs, i am back to missing you. i am glad you are not suffering. i am glad the pain is gone. but here i am left, wondering. how do i carry on? my life is like […]

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I am feeling a bit more positive than I was in this morning’s post, Dad got up for a while around 2pm, I laid on the couch dozing on and off, keeping my eyes and ears on alert. He fell on Wednesday, big gash on his head, poor Pops. It happened while his caregiver was […]

life lessons

Muncie Spumoni

We love our pets, don’t we? When you have no children, and you are trapped for 10 years in a house with elderly, sick and dying parents your pets come to have a whole new meaning to you. I always was loopy about them, and as time has gone on my family and I have […]

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That Brave Girl

The decision to enter my painting in an art show at a real art gallery was easy to make. I believe I am being motivated by fear, having learned while Pops was in hospital that I will basically be destitute after he dies or if he must be placed in a home. I had always […]

life lessons

Fighting My Way Out…with Help!

Fighting my way out of Depression. The first thing I have to do is turn to my Higher Power and give Him all this pain, He is much bigger than me, He can carry it and throw it away. He has His Active Force, His Holy Spirit to help me have “the power beyond what is […]

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Moving Images by S.T. Martin2012

 moving images out of the swirling mists of time images flit like scenes on a movie screen. her dark hair in short cut, smooth and sleek, lying coyly against perfect curve of cheek. next image of child with chopped-off bangs standing forlornly in kitchen doorway, little striped cotton pants fall low, eyes peer cautiously into […]

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Why Do I Hurt Myself?

I answered his call tonight. What a foolish foolish girl. I knew that it was wrong, to talk to the abuser, but I did it anyway. After years of being strong, of cutting out the gangrenous heart of me. How could I sell my broken soul out so cheaply? I knew he would say something […]

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A Poem Written for a Forgotten Reason…by S. T. Martin

Ode to my Father who Alzheimer’s took: A filthy thief, a nasty crook. A man much adored by I, obscured by madness, left to die. I care for him in his disappearance-vivid, charismatic, brilliant, delirious. He who counted the planets, could name all the stars, Now his stare’s distant like he’s gazing at Mars. Oh, my dear Father,who Alzheimer’s took: You […]