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The SLOG of Joy

Grumble. Growl. Grunt. .   Swear. Sweat. Stomp. . Punch. Pound. Pant. .  Breathe. Binge. Boss. .  Shout. Scream, Smear. .  Fall in a heap, exhausted. Then get up, clean up, and do it all over again. .  There is joy in this. This “living” we do. No matter how sweaty, or dirty, or ugly, this […]

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angels apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage death dementia depression emotions enduring everlasting life exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gardening God's love gratitude grief growth guilt happiness healing help home hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis nature pain paintings paradise peace poems poet poetry prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self help sinner sleep sobriety sorrow suicide survival survivor therapy treasure war witness worry

A Psalm of My Own

Written after Fighting With Myself All Night .           Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day .          He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay .          I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost .  […]

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addiction angels babies bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change child abuse children compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression disciple making Embarrassment emotions Equality exhaustion faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injustice insanity Joy judicial system kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories metamorphosis mothers murder pain paradise peace pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD recovery regret repent responsibility sadness safety sanity self help Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow survival therapy treasure violence walking war witness worry

Who Do I Think I Am?

I do silly things sometimes. Fairly often, in reality. Most of the time they are thoughtless mistakes, quickly forgotten by all who have been effected by them. There was a time, in the past life I lived, the one I talk so much about on this site, that I did intentionally bad things. Things that […]

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addiction aging parents alzheimer's angels animals apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder Birds bravery broken heart brothers caregivers caregiving change child abuse chronic pain compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring Equality eternal life Eternal life in paradise exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship funeral parlor God's love gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy judicial system jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers murder nature neighbors pain paradise peace poems pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety sanity Scriptures self awareness self help sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety soil soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure Vietnam War violence war wild witness worry

THE PAIN of it ALL

What do I say to a black mother whose son was murdered at the hands, or knee, of a white man? .   I saw George dying, in front of all the world, murdered. Every fiber of my being cried out for action to save him, knock that cop off of him, hurt those who were […]

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apostles Beauty bible Birds bravery broken heart brothers butterflies change children compassion courage daughters death disciple making disciples earth emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family Fathers Forgiveness freedom friendship gardens God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help home homecoming hope inner peace Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons Love memories metamorphosis mothers nature neighbors paradise peace poems poetry prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity sinner sleep sorrow survivor The last Supper The Memorial treasure witness

Full Heart

Will humans today heed the warning? In these times of pain and mourning ?

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apostles art Beauty bible Birds bravery broken heart butterflies caregiving chronic pain codependency compassion coping courage Dad daughters disciples dogs earth emotions enduring Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family family relationships fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love God's Word gratitude growth happiness healing help home hope inner peace Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness Love memories metamorphosis Monarch butterflies mothers nature neighbors pain paradise peace pets prayers puppies ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repentance responsibility rest sacrifice safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help shih-tzus survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure worry

We Are Going To Make It

Is anyone out there as old as I am? I grew up to the Mary Tyler Moore show, on every week as I recall. When I was 10 or so, she was beautiful to me, not just as a pretty woman (which she was and is, if she is still alive, is she?…)but as a […]

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bible bravery broken heart butterflies caregiving cares change clean and sober compassion coping courage daughters death depression disciple making disciples emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help hope injustice inner peace Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loss Love love. Jehovah God memories neighbors pain paradise peace prayers preaching predjudice ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness self awareness self confidence sleep sorrow survival survivor treasure

I Am Blown Away…

So much suffering in this world, that anything I may go through just pales by comparison. Just pales. A night out for friends at a club, a few drinks. A few laughs. Dancing. Happy, young, upwardly mobile. Beautiful. Did I tell you how beautiful they all are? Faces shown on smartphones, tv screens, computes. They […]

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life lessons

Profound Joy!

Profoundly Alive. Zestful. Happy. Hopeful. Forward Looking. Lifted up. Elated. Active. Alive. Aware. Absolutely Positive. I am these things, I am all of them. I must believe that I am. Loveable. Loved. Free. Truthful. Beautiful. My heart healed, my wings mended, my joy complete. I am now the person I always wished I could be. […]

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How Do I Do? a poem of sorts

I am totally mixed up- headed for a crash all I have created- right into the trash. where will I be when the smoke clears? who will I be when the time nears? I hear voices all the time now’ can no longer recall which one is mine, I mean to call or drop a […]

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addiction bipolar disorder cancer death depression fear freedom friendship home homecoming hope lonliness loss Love poems poetry recovery sadness

Been Away, a poem by Susan T. Martin

   all the fear, for all those years spent broken, spent frightened spent. awake now, knowing how feel inside, heal outside heal. would you know? how could you know never told you, afraid to hold you afraid. perfect plans laid, got the debt paid freedom? slavery? freedom. traveled long way, got back today missed home, […]