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addiction bipolar disorder bravery broken heart chronic pain clean and sober codependent coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guilt guts happiness hate healing hope inner peace insanity Joy judicial system life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers recovery regret repent repentance sacrifice sadness sanity Scriptures self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame shot at sinner sobriety stabbed suicidal ideation survival survivor therapy Uncategorized violence witness

Cry for Redemption

…there was nothing…but to keep chasing the high, reality became too painful…married you so…you could not testify against him?…

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life lessons

Profound Joy!

Profoundly Alive. Zestful. Happy. Hopeful. Forward Looking. Lifted up. Elated. Active. Alive. Aware. Absolutely Positive. I am these things, I am all of them. I must believe that I am. Loveable. Loved. Free. Truthful. Beautiful. My heart healed, my wings mended, my joy complete. I am now the person I always wished I could be. […]

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addiction beaten bipolar disorder bravery cancer caregiving change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage Dad death domestic vilolenc faith friendship guts happiness healing hitchhiking insanity Jesus Christ life lessons pain recovery riding the rails shot at sobriety stabbed survival trains walking

That Brave Girl

The decision to enter my painting in an art show at a real art gallery was easy to make. I believe I am being motivated by fear, having learned while Pops was in hospital that I will basically be destitute after he dies or if he must be placed in a home. I had always […]

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child abuse chronic pain domestic violence fear Forgiveness hate healing hope life lessons loneliness Love recovery regret responsibility sadness self confidence self help sorrow violence

Why Do I Hurt Myself?

I answered his call tonight. What a foolish foolish girl. I knew that it was wrong, to talk to the abuser, but I did it anyway. After years of being strong, of cutting out the gangrenous heart of me. How could I sell my broken soul out so cheaply? I knew he would say something […]

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addiction bipolar disorder chronic pain codependency mental illness

wheeeee…it’s Mania Time!!!

Another day, another fifty cents gone from my pocket. I have been feeling rather generous lately, which is funny for someone who doesn’t have the proverbial pot (to pee in…) I have been looking for a way to thank Dad’s caregiver for going above and beyond the call of duty, so I am letting her […]

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life lessons

Sowing Flowers in Tears

Did you ever feel that things were really going to change in your life, sudden-like? That a fresh wind had blown in, and changed the puzzle pieces , so that everything in your life would (finally!) fall into place? No, me neither… Just kidding guys, I really DO have times when I feel this way, […]

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coping happiness life lessons Love

HERE COMES THE rain AGAIN.

Too tired to format this, to tired to care. Not thinking about writing fame or fortune, just wanting to put my heart on a page. I haven’t talked to you in so long. I almost lost it today, eating a cheeseburger with Dad, sitting in the car, in the rain. He’s just a little boy […]

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life lessons

Still at It/ Writing in Undergarments

I have some difficulty in telling my stories, usually flashbacks ensue, many times physical illness such as stomach aches, headaches, and sleeplessness. And of course we can’t forget the PTSD symptoms such as hyper vigilance and panic attacks. But I must say that in the telling there is release, and I am able to embrace […]

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life lessons

Baring It All/ Writing In Undergarments

I am too tied up to just say underpants, whoever would have thought that an old biker chick like me couldn’t say underpants to total strangers! Oh, I meant uptight. I have had a traumatic brain injury, TBI, so you can expect bizarre phrase-ology from me. Spellchecker be darned! (ooh, bold…) Anyway, Many moons ago, […]

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chronic pain codependency depression domestic violence family relationships grief insomnia Jehovah God loss Love mental illness mothers

I’m Not Sure What I Will Say.

I am still haunted by him. The monster I allowed into my life. I have been telling people stories of my past again-sharing too much, too fast. Why do I do that? I don’t think people want to know all the gory details, especially when they have just met me-but there I go, spilling all […]