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accidents addiction alzheimer's angels apostles art art show artist babies beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart cancer caregiving change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency colo/rectal cancer compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression emotions enduring eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom gardening God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help hitchhiking home homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Joy judicial system jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love love. Jehovah God memories mental illness metamorphosis milkweed murder napping nature pain paintings paradise peace pets poems poet poetry pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety Sailfish Point sanity Scriptures self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame sinner sleep smoking sobriety soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure Uncategorized Vietnam War violence war wild animals witness Writing

The SLOG of Joy

Grumble. Growl. Grunt. .   Swear. Sweat. Stomp. . Punch. Pound. Pant. .  Breathe. Binge. Boss. .  Shout. Scream, Smear. .  Fall in a heap, exhausted. Then get up, clean up, and do it all over again. .  There is joy in this. This “living” we do. No matter how sweaty, or dirty, or ugly, this […]

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addiction angels babies bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change child abuse children compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression disciple making Embarrassment emotions Equality exhaustion faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injustice insanity Joy judicial system kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories metamorphosis mothers murder pain paradise peace pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD recovery regret repent responsibility sadness safety sanity self help Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow survival therapy treasure violence walking war witness worry

Who Do I Think I Am?

I do silly things sometimes. Fairly often, in reality. Most of the time they are thoughtless mistakes, quickly forgotten by all who have been effected by them. There was a time, in the past life I lived, the one I talk so much about on this site, that I did intentionally bad things. Things that […]

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apostles Beauty bible Birds bravery broken heart brothers butterflies change children compassion courage daughters death disciple making disciples earth emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family Fathers Forgiveness freedom friendship gardens God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help home homecoming hope inner peace Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons Love memories metamorphosis mothers nature neighbors paradise peace poems poetry prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity sinner sleep sorrow survivor The last Supper The Memorial treasure witness

Full Heart

Will humans today heed the warning? In these times of pain and mourning ?

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apostles art Beauty bible Birds bravery broken heart butterflies caregiving chronic pain codependency compassion coping courage Dad daughters disciples dogs earth emotions enduring Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family family relationships fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love God's Word gratitude growth happiness healing help home hope inner peace Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness Love memories metamorphosis Monarch butterflies mothers nature neighbors pain paradise peace pets prayers puppies ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repentance responsibility rest sacrifice safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help shih-tzus survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure worry

We Are Going To Make It

Is anyone out there as old as I am? I grew up to the Mary Tyler Moore show, on every week as I recall. When I was 10 or so, she was beautiful to me, not just as a pretty woman (which she was and is, if she is still alive, is she?…)but as a […]

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abortion accidents addiction beaten bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage daughters death depression disciple making domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion faith family relationships Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guts happiness hate healing help home injuries injustice insanity Joy life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery regret repent sacrifice sadness safety sanity self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence witness worry Writing

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

What this means to me : I hope that it means that some where, in this great big world, a child won’t be violated tonight…because someone talked to a parent, a trusted adult, a mental health professional, a trusted member of law enforcement, a dear friend, and told them what had happened. And that the […]

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beaten bipolar disorder bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent coping courage Dad daughters depression domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness grief growth guts hate healing help hope injuries injustice insanity kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers pregnancy ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery repent sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence witness worry

Re-Abused, Re-Raped, Re-Traumatized

I did something today that has me all twisted up inside like it just happened…And I thought I was SO far Over It, So Healed, So Strong, So SMART. All the years and years and years of therapy, and here I am again. Bruised, tattered, and lying on the cold floor of a dark green tent, somewhere […]

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angels artist Beauty bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage daughters death dementia depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guts happiness healing help home hope inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis mothers pain paradise peace prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self help sexual abuse sinner sleep sobriety sorrow suicide survival survivor treasure violence witness worry

Where Am i? Where Have i been?

Strange days, these. People are acting wild, out of control. There is fear in their eyes, urgency in their speech. Anger in their hearts. I have been running away again, from storms, from memories, from emotions. Thankfully running towards God, who has taken me in, again. I am so grateful. I had a bad episode […]

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addiction art artist Beauty bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart cancer cares change child abuse chronic pain clean clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage death depression disciple making disciples domestic violence earth emotions enduring eternal life exhaustion faith fear Forgiveness freedom friendship funeral parlor gardening gardens God's love gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing help home hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis mothers nature pain paintings paradise peace pets sanity self awareness self confidence sexual assault shih-tzus smoking sobriety stabbed suicide survivor treasure violence wild witness

Burning Desire..Really burning….

I am fighting right now, and you already know what is after me…negativity. Depression. Self Pity. Pain. Sadness…boo, boo, bad, hiss, grrr, mumble, mumble…SIGH… I have been feeling worse than usual in my physical self, heavy, cumbersome(love that word), out of breath, and oh! SO SLEEPY. Mentally? Running With Scissors!!!! WHEEEEE!!! Paint, Paint, draw, sculpt, glue, […]

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art artist Beauty bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery caregiving change clean coping courage faith fear Forgiveness freedom gratitude growth happiness healing help hope inner peace Joy kindness life life lessons Love love. Jehovah God mental illness metamorphosis pain paintings paradise peace poems poet poetry prayers recovery repent repentance responsibility sanity self awareness self confidence self help sobriety survival survivor treasure witness Writing

The Wind Blows into The Gutter!

Stay tuned, big things to come! I am merging my 2 journal blogs into one, here under THE WIND, and yes, this is Susan T. from Out Of The Gutter Art! If you were enjoying my journey on my sister blog, you may enjoy some of my earlier posts, as this is my FIRST blog […]

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bible bravery broken heart butterflies caregiving cares change clean and sober compassion coping courage daughters death depression disciple making disciples emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help hope injustice inner peace Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loss Love love. Jehovah God memories neighbors pain paradise peace prayers preaching predjudice ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness self awareness self confidence sleep sorrow survival survivor treasure

I Am Blown Away…

So much suffering in this world, that anything I may go through just pales by comparison. Just pales. A night out for friends at a club, a few drinks. A few laughs. Dancing. Happy, young, upwardly mobile. Beautiful. Did I tell you how beautiful they all are? Faces shown on smartphones, tv screens, computes. They […]