aging parents bipolar disorder broken heart cancer caregiving children chronic pain daughters death depression Eternal life in paradise everlasting life healing help hope Jehovah's promises life life lessons lonliness loss Love love. Jehovah God mothers


this is tough, this being me. i say all kinds of euphemistic things: endure, be brave, be faithful… a memory stirs, i am back to missing you. i am glad you are not suffering. i am glad the pain is gone. but here i am left, wondering. how do i carry on? my life is like […]

addiction beaten bipolar disorder bravery cancer caregiving change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage Dad death domestic vilolenc faith friendship guts happiness healing hitchhiking insanity Jesus Christ life lessons pain recovery riding the rails shot at sobriety stabbed survival trains walking

That Brave Girl

The decision to enter my painting in an art show at a real art gallery was easy to make. I believe I am being motivated by fear, having learned while Pops was in hospital that I will basically be destitute after he dies or if he must be placed in a home. I had always […]

bipolar disorder cancer caregiving coping God's love grief life lessons lonliness loss Love memories mothers poems poetry

Moving Images by S.T. Martin2012

 moving images out of the swirling mists of time images flit like scenes on a movie screen. her dark hair in short cut, smooth and sleek, lying coyly against perfect curve of cheek. next image of child with chopped-off bangs standing forlornly in kitchen doorway, little striped cotton pants fall low, eyes peer cautiously into […]

bipolar disorder butterflies cancer cares change child abuse chronic pain conservation coping daughters dogs eternal life life lessons

We Never Moved, Just Moved On…

This is Baby Izzy. Her full name is Aiko XoXo Izabella, and she is a shih-tzu, as are my other 2 babies. This is her older brother, Kiko San Majestic: He looks like a wookie from star wars here. Or an Ewok, I can’t remember what that furry creature as called. Both of the kids […]

addiction alzheimer's bipolar disorder brothers cancer caregiving change children chronic pain codependency coping depression freedom grief healing help hope injustice life lonliness loss Love mental illness poems predjudice

What Color Is Despair?

what color will you paint my soul? what color will you paint my soul? blues and greens in endless dreams what color will you paint my soul? what color will you paint my life? what color will you paint my life? blacks and reds of endless strife what color will you paint my life? what […]

bipolar disorder brothers compassion depression earth eternal life Fathers hope Jesus Christ love. Jehovah God mothers paradise poems

How Do They Dare?

How Do They Dare: to say they know how I feel? to say they understand my pain? to say I am overmedicated? say I am overfed, or unleared? to say I am just overreacting? pretend to know what my lonely days are like? to use my body when I said,”NO!”? to laugh at a man […]

life lessons

The Soundtrack of My Life/ writing 101,assignment

Deep Purple was my favorite band for many years. My brother was 4 years older than me and so I inherited all his records as he grew up and moved on. But deep Purple’s lead singer, Ian Gillian was my secret dream lover, and his singing their song, “Pictures of Home” cut deep into my […]

cancer codependency coping depression family relationships Fathers grief life lessons loss Love mental illness mothers poems

Falling in The Memory Hole

Days go by, pleasant thoughts ensue. not a minute when thoughts are not of you   I make him sad, talking about your life, And it makes me cry, him forgetting you: his wife. I hear him say how wonderul your love, yet I recall him on a pedestal above. he sat in the den […]

aging parents cancer caregiving codependency colo/rectal cancer coping death grief life lessons loss Love mothers poems smoking survivor

The Mirror

my heart looks for you under handmade afghans… in the kitchen… in your seat. always smoking your deadly viceroy. little did i know they would steal you away. your son wanted you to do what you could not: quit. so he cut you loose from his twisted heart. but not me i bound you to […]