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aging parents alzheimer's artist bipolar disorder bravery brothers caregiving chronic pain codependency compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression enduring eternal life hope Jehovah God lonliness loss Love pain paradise

Brainstorming

I am feeling a bit more positive than I was in this morning’s post, Dad got up for a while around 2pm, I laid on the couch dozing on and off, keeping my eyes and ears on alert. He fell on Wednesday, big gash on his head, poor Pops. It happened while his caregiver was […]

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the dustbowl.

It is very dry here in South Florida. I mean popcorn-fart dry. I do not enjoy these droughts we have, I am sure no one else does. I find it particularly painful to watch all the foliage crisping up while I sprinkle my whole Social Security check’s worth of water onto it. In futility, like […]

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life lessons

Muncie Spumoni

We love our pets, don’t we? When you have no children, and you are trapped for 10 years in a house with elderly, sick and dying parents your pets come to have a whole new meaning to you. I always was loopy about them, and as time has gone on my family and I have […]

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That Brave Girl

The decision to enter my painting in an art show at a real art gallery was easy to make. I believe I am being motivated by fear, having learned while Pops was in hospital that I will basically be destitute after he dies or if he must be placed in a home. I had always […]

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We Are Home…Aren’t We?

He sleeps hours on end while I fret. He sits up in a recliner while I cook and fret. He gets up to pee, yep, I fret. He fights me over using his walker, my fretting heart pounds, fretting hands shake. He is sad that he scared me, I feel guilty for that-and that makes […]

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life lessons

Changing Roles in a Changing Mind

   We have come to a crossroads in our lives as father and daughter. I have spent a good part of my life being my parents’ caregiver, both my Mom(rectal cancer) and Dad’s ( Dementia/Alzheimer’s). While their suffering has been extensive I am going to focus a bit on the changes a Codependent-Bipolar-Recovering Addict/Alcoholic with […]

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life lessons

Deep Breath In…and hold…Breath Out.

Wouldn’t it be funny if, after really impressing on the Doctor how awful I feel, all the new tests showed nothing! It seems to often be that way with me, to the point that my integrity (and sanity….) come into question when the results are discussed. If this new round of X-rays, Echocardiogram and venous Doppler […]

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My Life’s Work

I have not been going out preaching, the God-given work I love. As one of Jehovah’s dedicated Witnesses, I have promised to tell my fellow man about “the good news from God”. I must help them learn to take in accurate knowledge from the Bible, to put faith in the ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ […]

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alzheimer's bipolar disorder caregiving change children codependency compassion Dad daughters death depression family family relationships Fathers grief happiness healing help hope life life lessons lonliness loss Love poems

A Poem Written for a Forgotten Reason…by S. T. Martin

Ode to my Father who Alzheimer’s took: A filthy thief, a nasty crook. A man much adored by I, obscured by madness, left to die. I care for him in his disappearance-vivid, charismatic, brilliant, delirious. He who counted the planets, could name all the stars, Now his stare’s distant like he’s gazing at Mars. Oh, my dear Father,who Alzheimer’s took: You […]

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Inertia

Life in a  funeral parlor is very boring. Father sleeps all day now. He was always a napper, and absolutely loves to sleep. Perhaps it was an escape for him years ago, a way to avoid dealing with Mom or us kids. A big part of his nappiness is sleep apnea, which wasn’t even heard […]