Tag: addiction

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A Psalm of My Own

Pink Dusk©STMartin

Written after Fighting With Myself All Night .           Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day .          He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay .          I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost .  […]

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life lessons

Profound Joy!

Profoundly Alive. Zestful. Happy. Hopeful. Forward Looking. Lifted up. Elated. Active. Alive. Aware. Absolutely Positive. I am these things, I am all of them. I must believe that I am. Loveable. Loved. Free. Truthful. Beautiful. My heart healed, my wings mended, my joy complete. I am now the person I always wished I could be. […]

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How Do I Do? a poem of sorts

I am totally mixed up- headed for a crash all I have created- right into the trash. where will I be when the smoke clears? who will I be when the time nears? I hear voices all the time now’ can no longer recall which one is mine, I mean to call or drop a […]

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Been Away, a poem by Susan T. Martin

   all the fear, for all those years spent broken, spent frightened spent. awake now, knowing how feel inside, heal outside heal. would you know? how could you know never told you, afraid to hold you afraid. perfect plans laid, got the debt paid freedom? slavery? freedom. traveled long way, got back today missed home, […]

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That Brave Girl

The decision to enter my painting in an art show at a real art gallery was easy to make. I believe I am being motivated by fear, having learned while Pops was in hospital that I will basically be destitute after he dies or if he must be placed in a home. I had always […]

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life lessons

Will The Real Me Please Come Back?

one of izzy's babies

Forgetting  where I have come from is a double edged sword. Those who forget the past are doomed to relive it, I have heard. Most of mine I would rather not relive, but I want to keep all the lessons I have learned. I have some trouble in that area, because I keep getting the […]

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life lessons

Changing Roles in a Changing Mind

   We have come to a crossroads in our lives as father and daughter. I have spent a good part of my life being my parents’ caregiver, both my Mom(rectal cancer) and Dad’s ( Dementia/Alzheimer’s). While their suffering has been extensive I am going to focus a bit on the changes a Codependent-Bipolar-Recovering Addict/Alcoholic with […]

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Moving Images by S.T. Martin2012

 moving images out of the swirling mists of time images flit like scenes on a movie screen. her dark hair in short cut, smooth and sleek, lying coyly against perfect curve of cheek. next image of child with chopped-off bangs standing forlornly in kitchen doorway, little striped cotton pants fall low, eyes peer cautiously into […]

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Why Do I Hurt Myself?

bridal chest

I answered his call tonight. What a foolish foolish girl. I knew that it was wrong, to talk to the abuser, but I did it anyway. After years of being strong, of cutting out the gangrenous heart of me. How could I sell my broken soul out so cheaply? I knew he would say something […]

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life lessons

Dreaming Awake

Follow the bouncing Kiko! Boing! Boing…Boing!!! Boooinnng! Isn’t boing a funny word? I guess it is a made-up, sounds-like-what-it-means word. You can say it like a spring coming unsprung, or like a superball bouncing off walls, flying everywhere! Both of those ways of saying it would be very appropriate here, for I am just the […]