“ I want, so much, to do good in my life.” To be the opposite of who I used to be, when I was manipulative, jealous, selfish. But it seems that I have lost sight of my original desire, because after I wrote that first sentence, I realized that I haven’t thought too deeply about […]
I think it is a challenge to live a solitary life. I don’t dislike it, but I reminisce too much about sad events. It’s like my past has tentacles that slither out of the photo albums, out of the closets, out of the desks and cabinets to wrap themselves, insinuate themselves into my present. I […]
Grumble. Growl. Grunt. . Swear. Sweat. Stomp. . Punch. Pound. Pant. . Breathe. Binge. Boss. . Shout. Scream, Smear. . Fall in a heap, exhausted. Then get up, clean up, and do it all over again. . There is joy in this. This “living” we do. No matter how sweaty, or dirty, or ugly, this […]
Written after Fighting With Myself All Night . Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day . He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay . I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost . […]
I had a dream last night. Beautiful man, falling in love, new relationship, exhilaration. Then, in an instant: He’s blind drunk, with another woman and he’s abusing her! So, it wasn’t really a dream… It was a NIGHTMARE!!!
Righty O! How about that Picture, huh? Oh, my… . That’s my “I’m so tired I can fall down right in this spot and sleep for a month” face. And it’s none too pretty. It’s also the most unflattering view of my nose…I was never unhappy with my nose until my Ex broke it . […]
Moody…Melancholy. I suppose I am. I’m never sure until I decide to wake up and suddenly realize that me home looks like a madwoman lives here. Thats how I know I’ve been depressed. It sneaks up on me. I’ve been up all night, again. . I loathe my not keeping “normal” hours, I’m not sure […]
…there is no “wait until” time to be beautiful…
Should we tell our secrets? Burden our loved one’s with them? Jeopardize our relationships with society, our peers? Risk our reputations? . Many people choose not to. Instead they carry that burning bucket of nastiness hidden away deep inside. Letting it rot away all their prospects for joy, searing their potential away […]
In truth, as far as “relationships” go, I never learned to love. Not the healthy kind of love that allows both parties to flourish, to breathe, to grow. I only knew how to suffocate, shadow, consume and own. Also, how to grovel, scrape and worship. It all involved fight and struggle, there was nothing easy, […]
