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A Psalm of My Own

Written after Fighting With Myself All Night .           Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day .          He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay .          I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost .  […]

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life lessons

Possession

I had a dream last night. Beautiful man, falling in love, new relationship, exhilaration. Then, in an instant: He’s blind drunk, with another woman and he’s abusing her! So, it wasn’t really a dream… It was a NIGHTMARE!!!

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3 Hours Sleep and I’m Feelin’ Good!

Righty O! How about that Picture, huh? Oh, my… .   That’s my “I’m so tired I can fall down right in this spot and sleep for a month” face. And it’s none too pretty. It’s also the most unflattering view of my nose…I was never unhappy with my nose until my Ex broke it . […]

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life lessons

Been Away

Moody…Melancholy. I suppose I am. I’m never sure until I decide to wake up and suddenly realize that me home looks like a madwoman lives here. Thats how I know I’ve been depressed. It sneaks up on me. I’ve been up all night, again. .  I loathe my not keeping “normal” hours, I’m not sure […]

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SUSAN IS HERE! NEVER FEAR!!!

…there is no “wait until” time to be beautiful…

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Secrets…Many Secrets

     Should we tell our secrets? Burden our loved one’s with them? Jeopardize our relationships with society, our peers? Risk our reputations? .     Many people choose not to. Instead they carry that burning bucket of nastiness hidden away deep inside. Letting it rot away all their prospects for joy, searing their potential away […]

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life lessons

How Do I Love, Today’s Version

In truth, as far as “relationships” go, I never learned to love. Not the healthy kind of love that allows both parties to flourish, to breathe, to grow. I only knew how to suffocate, shadow, consume and own. Also, how to grovel, scrape and worship. It all involved fight and struggle, there was nothing easy, […]

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life lessons

How Do I Love?

It’s funny, I used to be focused so much on “romantic” love. Once upon a time I loved a man, actually I have loved more than one. I had a very warped idea of love, for me it focused on sexuality, possession, domination, jealousy and passion. A physical expression, with emotional ownership. Weird… It is […]

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Who Do I Think I Am?

I do silly things sometimes. Fairly often, in reality. Most of the time they are thoughtless mistakes, quickly forgotten by all who have been effected by them. There was a time, in the past life I lived, the one I talk so much about on this site, that I did intentionally bad things. Things that […]

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THE PAIN of it ALL

What do I say to a black mother whose son was murdered at the hands, or knee, of a white man? .   I saw George dying, in front of all the world, murdered. Every fiber of my being cried out for action to save him, knock that cop off of him, hurt those who were […]