Category: worry

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angels apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage death dementia depression emotions enduring everlasting life exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gardening God's love gratitude grief growth guilt happiness healing help home hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis nature pain paintings paradise peace poems poet poetry prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self help sinner sleep sobriety sorrow suicide survival survivor therapy treasure war witness worry

A Psalm of My Own

Pink Dusk©STMartin

Written after Fighting With Myself All Night .           Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day .          He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay .          I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost .  […]

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accidents addiction aging parents angels beaten Beauty bible Birds broken heart caregivers cats change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependent colo/rectal cancer compassion conservation coping courage daughters death depression domestic violence earth Embarrassment emotions Equality eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love God's Word grief guilt happiness healing help homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Joy kindness life lessons mental illness metamorphosis murder nature pain paintings poems prayers predjudice PTSD rape recovery regret repent repentance riding the rails sacrifice sadness safety sinner sleep sorrow stabbed survivor The last Supper treasure violence war wild animals worry

3 Hours Sleep and I’m Feelin’ Good!

Righty O! How about that Picture, huh? Oh, my… .   That’s my “I’m so tired I can fall down right in this spot and sleep for a month” face. And it’s none too pretty. It’s also the most unflattering view of my nose…I was never unhappy with my nose until my Ex broke it . […]

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addiction angels babies bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change child abuse children compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression disciple making Embarrassment emotions Equality exhaustion faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injustice insanity Joy judicial system kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories metamorphosis mothers murder pain paradise peace pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD recovery regret repent responsibility sadness safety sanity self help Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow survival therapy treasure violence walking war witness worry

Who Do I Think I Am?

Pink Dusk©STMartin

I do silly things sometimes. Fairly often, in reality. Most of the time they are thoughtless mistakes, quickly forgotten by all who have been effected by them. There was a time, in the past life I lived, the one I talk so much about on this site, that I did intentionally bad things. Things that […]

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addiction aging parents alzheimer's angels animals apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder Birds bravery broken heart brothers caregivers caregiving change child abuse chronic pain compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring Equality eternal life Eternal life in paradise exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship funeral parlor God's love gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy judicial system jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers murder nature neighbors pain paradise peace poems pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety sanity Scriptures self awareness self help sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety soil soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure Vietnam War violence war wild witness worry

THE PAIN of it ALL

What do I say to a black mother whose son was murdered at the hands, or knee, of a white man? .   I saw George dying, in front of all the world, murdered. Every fiber of my being cried out for action to save him, knock that cop off of him, hurt those who were […]

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apostles art Beauty bible Birds bravery broken heart butterflies caregiving chronic pain codependency compassion coping courage Dad daughters disciples dogs earth emotions enduring Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family family relationships fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love God's Word gratitude growth happiness healing help home hope inner peace Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness Love memories metamorphosis Monarch butterflies mothers nature neighbors pain paradise peace pets prayers puppies ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repentance responsibility rest sacrifice safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help shih-tzus survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure worry

We Are Going To Make It

Happy Joyous and Free©STMartin

Is anyone out there as old as I am? I grew up to the Mary Tyler Moore show, on every week as I recall. When I was 10 or so, she was beautiful to me, not just as a pretty woman (which she was and is, if she is still alive, is she?…)but as a […]

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bipolar disorder bravery broken heart chronic pain codependency courage Dad daughters depression faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness God's love gratitude grief guts happiness hate healing home hope injustice insanity insomnia life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis pain poems poet poetry prayers predjudice PTSD pulmonary embolism rape recovery regret repent sacrifice sadness sanity sexual abuse sinner sleep sobriety soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence war wild witness worry Writing

I Will Tell the Truth Now

I will make a huge effort to tell the truth. I always fluff things up, until I am not even sure what my truth is. My Dad was a SUPER Exaggerator , and an Embellisher of the highest order, and I hung on his every word. I could see others staring up at him, eyes […]

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abortion accidents addiction beaten bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage daughters death depression disciple making domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion faith family relationships Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guts happiness hate healing help home injuries injustice insanity Joy life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery regret repent sacrifice sadness safety sanity self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence witness worry Writing

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Baby me in my favorite coat

What this means to me : I hope that it means that some where, in this great big world, a child won’t be violated tonight…because someone talked to a parent, a trusted adult, a mental health professional, a trusted member of law enforcement, a dear friend, and told them what had happened. And that the […]

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beaten bipolar disorder bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent coping courage Dad daughters depression domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness grief growth guts hate healing help hope injuries injustice insanity kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers pregnancy ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery repent sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence witness worry

Re-Abused, Re-Raped, Re-Traumatized

I did something today that has me all twisted up inside like it just happened…And I thought I was SO far Over It, So Healed, So Strong, So SMART. All the years and years and years of therapy, and here I am again. Bruised, tattered, and lying on the cold floor of a dark green tent, somewhere […]

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art artist Beauty bipolar disorder bravery broken heart change codependency compassion coping courage death depression emotions enduring faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gardening God's love gratitude grief growth happiness healing home hope inner peace insomnia life life lessons loneliness love. Jehovah God memories mental illness napping pain paintings peace poems prayers PTSD recovery regret repentance responsibility rest sadness sanity self awareness self help sleep sobriety sorrow survival survivor therapy witness worry

Okee Dokee Then…

Happy Joyous and Free©STMartin

It has been AGES since I have been here, it seems that when I am on fire with my visual art , my written art suffers. Time is a factor, when I have 5 projects going at once, the voices in my head are rather subdued, because all the poetry is oozing out of my […]

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art artist bipolar disorder bravery broken heart change child abuse children chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent compassion coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion fear Forgiveness freedom God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis pain paintings paradise peace PTSD rape recovery regret repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault shot at sinner sleep sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy Uncategorized wild worry

Many Days Since

moody

I am here again, on lock down of my own making. Wanting the isolation while longing for company. I feel unsure, unsteady, and oh, so tired. The dialogue inside my head has slowed, and the gist of it is dire, down and miserable. I hate myself like this, and that adds to my misery because […]