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addiction bipolar disorder bravery broken heart chronic pain clean and sober codependent coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guilt guts happiness hate healing hope inner peace insanity Joy judicial system life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers recovery regret repent repentance sacrifice sadness sanity Scriptures self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame shot at sinner sobriety stabbed suicidal ideation survival survivor therapy Uncategorized violence witness

Cry for Redemption

…there was nothing…but to keep chasing the high, reality became too painful…married you so…you could not testify against him?…

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abortion addiction alzheimer's angels animals apostles art artist babies beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart cancer caregivers cares child abuse children chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom gardens God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guilt happiness healing help home homecoming hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers murder nature pain paradise peace poems prayers preaching predjudice PTSD pulmonary embolism ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness sanity Scriptures self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper therapy treasure violence war wild witness Writing

Secrets…Many Secrets

     Should we tell our secrets? Burden our loved one’s with them? Jeopardize our relationships with society, our peers? Risk our reputations? .     Many people choose not to. Instead they carry that burning bucket of nastiness hidden away deep inside. Letting it rot away all their prospects for joy, searing their potential away […]

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addiction angels babies bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change child abuse children compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression disciple making Embarrassment emotions Equality exhaustion faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injustice insanity Joy judicial system kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories metamorphosis mothers murder pain paradise peace pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD recovery regret repent responsibility sadness safety sanity self help Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow survival therapy treasure violence walking war witness worry

Who Do I Think I Am?

I do silly things sometimes. Fairly often, in reality. Most of the time they are thoughtless mistakes, quickly forgotten by all who have been effected by them. There was a time, in the past life I lived, the one I talk so much about on this site, that I did intentionally bad things. Things that […]

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addiction aging parents alzheimer's angels animals apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder Birds bravery broken heart brothers caregivers caregiving change child abuse chronic pain compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring Equality eternal life Eternal life in paradise exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship funeral parlor God's love gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy judicial system jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers murder nature neighbors pain paradise peace poems pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety sanity Scriptures self awareness self help sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety soil soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure Vietnam War violence war wild witness worry

THE PAIN of it ALL

What do I say to a black mother whose son was murdered at the hands, or knee, of a white man? .   I saw George dying, in front of all the world, murdered. Every fiber of my being cried out for action to save him, knock that cop off of him, hurt those who were […]

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abortion accidents addiction beaten bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage daughters death depression disciple making domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion faith family relationships Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guts happiness hate healing help home injuries injustice insanity Joy life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery regret repent sacrifice sadness safety sanity self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence witness worry Writing

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

What this means to me : I hope that it means that some where, in this great big world, a child won’t be violated tonight…because someone talked to a parent, a trusted adult, a mental health professional, a trusted member of law enforcement, a dear friend, and told them what had happened. And that the […]

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art artist bipolar disorder bravery broken heart change child abuse children chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent compassion coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion fear Forgiveness freedom God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis pain paintings paradise peace PTSD rape recovery regret repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault shot at sinner sleep sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy Uncategorized wild worry

Many Days Since

I am here again, on lock down of my own making. Wanting the isolation while longing for company. I feel unsure, unsteady, and oh, so tired. The dialogue inside my head has slowed, and the gist of it is dire, down and miserable. I hate myself like this, and that adds to my misery because […]

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apostles art artist Beauty bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart cancer caregivers caregiving cats change children chronic pain clean and sober codependency colo/rectal cancer compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression disciple making earth emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life exhaustion faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help home homecoming hope inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love love. Jehovah God memories mental illness metamorphosis mothers pain paradise peace prayers preaching PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance rest sacrifice sadness sanity self help shot at sleep sobriety sorrow survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure witness

Oh Happy Day!

I am happy to say, I was able to get back into my blogs here at WordPress, after a lengthy absence. I was unable to remember my sign in information for the longest time, but finally I was able to get back here!!! My sister blog, Out of the Gutter Art, has been languishing also, […]

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babies bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change children chronic pain clean and sober compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression emotions enduring faith Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom God's love gratitude grief growth guts happiness healing hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia jungle life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers pain peace poems prayers PTSD recovery regret responsibility sacrifice sadness sanity self awareness self confidence self help shot at sleep sobriety soldiers sorrow survival survivor therapy Vietnam War violence war witness Writing

What You Made Me Feel (Blue-Eyed Johnny)

A deep abiding sadness, wistfulness… like watching a deer in the meadow, at dusk just before that shot rings out. Beauty/ Pain/ heartbreak/ death Their young faces haunt me, these young men I have not met. How strange it all was to them: Surreal Landscape, Unreal Assignments- You must die taking this hill, then let […]

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addiction beaten bipolar disorder bravery cancer caregiving change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage Dad death domestic vilolenc faith friendship guts happiness healing hitchhiking insanity Jesus Christ life lessons pain recovery riding the rails shot at sobriety stabbed survival trains walking

That Brave Girl

The decision to enter my painting in an art show at a real art gallery was easy to make. I believe I am being motivated by fear, having learned while Pops was in hospital that I will basically be destitute after he dies or if he must be placed in a home. I had always […]