Category: mental illness

The Discomfort of Disbelief

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 10/21/2020

"The Sentinel's Prayer", acrylic on canvas, Susan T. Martin2017

“The feeling of being doubted…is an ever-present background noise…”

Tags arthritis, assault, chronic pain, degenerative disc disease, diagnosis, doctors, Doubt, Fibromyalgia, Fusion, healing, illness, life lessons, love, mental illness, pain, Rheumatology, Surgery, truth, Validation

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Cry for Redemption

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 09/30/2020

…there was nothing…but to keep chasing the high, reality became too painful…married you so…you could not testify against him?…

Tags arrest, ATF, domestic violence, drugs, FBI, forgiveness, God's Love, hope, jail, joy, love, mental illness, recovery, repentance, sexual assault, sobriety, SWAT

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Built Up in Love

…Know that you are loved…

Tags Bipolar Disorder, childhood sexual abuse, forgiveness, God's Love, healing, hope, Jesus Christ, love, mental illness, prayer, recovery, sexual abuse, sexual assault, suicide, therapy

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PARTY GIRL!

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 09/08/2020

Tags art, artist, Bipolar Disorder, clean, Love art, Painting, Party, Partying, Sober

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The SLOG of Joy

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 08/03/2020

Grumble. Growl. Grunt. . Swear. Sweat. Stomp. . Punch. Pound. Pant. . Breathe. Binge. Boss. . Shout. Scream, Smear. . Fall in a heap, exhausted. Then get up, clean up, and do it all over again. . There is joy in this. This “living” we do. No matter how sweaty, or dirty, or ugly, this […]

Tags abuse, Anger, art, beauty, brothers, children, creativity, daughters, depression, freedom, friends, friendship, future, gardening, gratitude, insanity, joy, learning, life, life lessons, Lonely, love, memories, mothers, nature, parents, peace, Poetry, prayer, recovery, relationships, sex, truth, violence, war, work

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A Psalm of My Own

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 08/01/2020

Written after Fighting With Myself All Night . Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day . He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay . I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost . […]

Tags abuse, addiction, Anger, art, artist, beauty, Bible, codependency, compassion, creativity, death, depression, drugs, faith, freedom, friendship, future, God, gratitude, healing, insanity, joy, learning, life, life lessons, Lonely, love, memories, ministry, pain, peace, Poetry, prayer, promises, recovery, relationships, Sad, sadness, sex, sleep, stress, truth, violence, war, work

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3 Hours Sleep and I’m Feelin’ Good!

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 07/20/2020

Righty O! How about that Picture, huh? Oh, my… . That’s my “I’m so tired I can fall down right in this spot and sleep for a month” face. And it’s none too pretty. It’s also the most unflattering view of my nose…I was never unhappy with my nose until my Ex broke it . […]

Tags art, faith, learning, life, relationships, truth, work

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Secrets…Many Secrets

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 07/05/2020

Should we tell our secrets? Burden our loved one’s with them? Jeopardize our relationships with society, our peers? Risk our reputations? . Many people choose not to. Instead they carry that burning bucket of nastiness hidden away deep inside. Letting it rot away all their prospects for joy, searing their potential away […]

Tags art, faith, life, truth, work

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THE PAIN of it ALL

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 06/02/2020

What do I say to a black mother whose son was murdered at the hands, or knee, of a white man? . I saw George dying, in front of all the world, murdered. Every fiber of my being cried out for action to save him, knock that cop off of him, hurt those who were […]

Tags abuse, Alone, Anger, Bible, Black, brothers, brutality, daughters, depression, faith, freedom, friends, future, God, gratitude, grief, Hatred, homicide, Human, injustice, insanity, joy, learning, life, life lessons, Lonely, love, memories, mothers, pain, Police, prayer, promises, protest, Race, relationships, Sad, sadness, stress, truth, violence, war, white, work

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I Will Tell the Truth Now

Post author By Susan T. Martin
Post date 12/16/2019

I will make a huge effort to tell the truth. I always fluff things up, until I am not even sure what my truth is. My Dad was a SUPER Exaggerator , and an Embellisher of the highest order, and I hung on his every word. I could see others staring up at him, eyes […]