Category: memories

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addiction bipolar disorder bravery broken heart chronic pain clean and sober codependent coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guilt guts happiness hate healing hope inner peace insanity Joy judicial system life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers recovery regret repent repentance sacrifice sadness sanity Scriptures self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame shot at sinner sobriety stabbed suicidal ideation survival survivor therapy Uncategorized violence witness

Cry for Redemption

…there was nothing…but to keep chasing the high, reality became too painful…married you so…you could not testify against him?…

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accidents addiction alzheimer's angels apostles art art show artist babies beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart cancer caregiving change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency colo/rectal cancer compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression emotions enduring eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom gardening God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help hitchhiking home homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Joy judicial system jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love love. Jehovah God memories mental illness metamorphosis milkweed murder napping nature pain paintings paradise peace pets poems poet poetry pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety Sailfish Point sanity Scriptures self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame sinner sleep smoking sobriety soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure Uncategorized Vietnam War violence war wild animals witness Writing

The SLOG of Joy

So many Secrets©STMartin

Grumble. Growl. Grunt. .   Swear. Sweat. Stomp. . Punch. Pound. Pant. .  Breathe. Binge. Boss. .  Shout. Scream, Smear. .  Fall in a heap, exhausted. Then get up, clean up, and do it all over again. .  There is joy in this. This “living” we do. No matter how sweaty, or dirty, or ugly, this […]

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angels apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage death dementia depression emotions enduring everlasting life exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gardening God's love gratitude grief growth guilt happiness healing help home hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis nature pain paintings paradise peace poems poet poetry prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self help sinner sleep sobriety sorrow suicide survival survivor therapy treasure war witness worry

A Psalm of My Own

Pink Dusk©STMartin

Written after Fighting With Myself All Night .           Jehovah knows my suffering, hears my pleas each day .          He knows the pain this madness brings, knows I’m made of clay .          I thought I’d be forsaken, and all my hope was lost .  […]

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aging parents animals art artist Beauty bravery butterflies cancer change child abuse children chronic pain clean clean and sober codependent compassion coping courage Dad daughters depression domestic violence Embarrassment emotions family family relationships freedom friendship gardens gratitude growth guts happiness healing home homecoming hope injuries inner peace Joy kindness life life lessons Love memories mothers pain paradise peace poems rape recovery rest sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help survival survivor therapy treasure violence walking

SUSAN IS HERE! NEVER FEAR!!!

seems like an eternity ago, when my hair was long, and I still felt pretty. This is before all the accidents, surgeries and injuries and before Mom died.

…there is no “wait until” time to be beautiful…

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abortion addiction alzheimer's angels animals apostles art artist babies beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery broken heart cancer caregivers cares child abuse children chronic pain clean and sober codependency compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom gardens God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guilt happiness healing help home homecoming hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers murder nature pain paradise peace poems prayers preaching predjudice PTSD pulmonary embolism ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness sanity Scriptures self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper therapy treasure violence war wild witness Writing

Secrets…Many Secrets

promises fulfilled

     Should we tell our secrets? Burden our loved one’s with them? Jeopardize our relationships with society, our peers? Risk our reputations? .     Many people choose not to. Instead they carry that burning bucket of nastiness hidden away deep inside. Letting it rot away all their prospects for joy, searing their potential away […]

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addiction angels babies bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change child abuse children compassion coping courage Dad daughters death depression disciple making Embarrassment emotions Equality exhaustion faith family family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gratitude grief growth guilt guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injustice insanity Joy judicial system kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories metamorphosis mothers murder pain paradise peace pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD recovery regret repent responsibility sadness safety sanity self help Shame shot at sinner sobriety sorrow survival therapy treasure violence walking war witness worry

Who Do I Think I Am?

Pink Dusk©STMartin

I do silly things sometimes. Fairly often, in reality. Most of the time they are thoughtless mistakes, quickly forgotten by all who have been effected by them. There was a time, in the past life I lived, the one I talk so much about on this site, that I did intentionally bad things. Things that […]

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addiction aging parents alzheimer's angels animals apostles beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder Birds bravery broken heart brothers caregivers caregiving change child abuse chronic pain compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression domestic violence earth emotions enduring Equality eternal life Eternal life in paradise exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship funeral parlor God's love gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing help home homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy judicial system jungle kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness mothers murder nature neighbors pain paradise peace poems pollution prayers preaching predjudice PTSD ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety sanity Scriptures self awareness self help sexual assault shot at sinner sobriety soil soldiers sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure Vietnam War violence war wild witness worry

THE PAIN of it ALL

What do I say to a black mother whose son was murdered at the hands, or knee, of a white man? .   I saw George dying, in front of all the world, murdered. Every fiber of my being cried out for action to save him, knock that cop off of him, hurt those who were […]

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animals artist babies Beauty Birds bravery broken heart butterflies change children clean clean and sober codependent compassion conservation coping courage daughters earth emotions eternal life everlasting life faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love gratitude growth happiness healing home homecoming hope injuries injustice inner peace Jesus Christ Joy jungle life life lessons Love memories Monarch butterflies mothers nature neighbors pain paradise peace pets planting poet pollution prayers puppies ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance rest sacrifice sanity self awareness self confidence shih-tzus sinner sobriety survival survivor The Memorial therapy treasure trees walking wild wild animals wildlife witness

The CLEAN Effect!

      Yessssssss….Deep inhale….Yessssss…. .  There is often some bright speck, a teeny-weeny glint, in the midst of devastation. Often this tiny glimmer of good goes unseen for years, decades, even centuries. I’m sure there have been major disasters where no bright side was ever found, the loss being only that. A loss. Losses. […]

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apostles Beauty bible Birds bravery broken heart brothers butterflies change children compassion courage daughters death disciple making disciples earth emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life faith family Fathers Forgiveness freedom friendship gardens God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help home homecoming hope inner peace Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons Love memories metamorphosis mothers nature neighbors paradise peace poems poetry prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity sinner sleep sorrow survivor The last Supper The Memorial treasure witness

Full Heart

Happy Joyous and Free©STMartin

Will humans today heed the warning? In these times of pain and mourning ?

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animals art artist Beauty bible bipolar disorder bravery butterflies caregivers caregiving change chronic pain clean clean and sober compassion coping courage Dad daughters death disciples earth eternal life Eternal life in paradise faith family relationships Forgiveness freedom friendship gardens God's love gratitude growth happiness healing home homecoming hope inner peace Jehovah God Joy kindness life life lessons Love memories mothers nature paradise peace poems prayers preaching ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repentance sacrifice safety sanity soil therapy treasure trees walking witness Writing

A Little Better/Thanks to Friends

I must not complain. I MUST NOT COMPLAIN. I MUST NOT COMPLAIN! I MUST NOT COMPLAIN!!!!! I hope I am getting better about that. When so many have, and are, suffering SO MUCH. I shudder to think how it must sound to people who had to say their last goodbye via cell phone. My own […]