Category: codependent

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accidents addiction art beaten bipolar disorder bppv bravery change chronic pain clean and sober codependent compassion coping courage depression domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion faith fear freedom gratitude growth happiness healing help hope injuries injustice Joy kindness life life lessons loss Love mental illness pain paradise peace prayers PTSD recovery rest safety sanity self confidence self help survivor therapy walking

The Discomfort of Disbelief

"The Sentinel's Prayer", acrylic on canvas, Susan T. Martin2017

“The feeling of being doubted…is an ever-present background noise…”

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addiction bipolar disorder bravery broken heart chronic pain clean and sober codependent coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion faith family fear Forgiveness freedom gratitude grief guilt guts happiness hate healing hope inner peace insanity Joy judicial system life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers recovery regret repent repentance sacrifice sadness sanity Scriptures self help sexual abuse sexual assault Shame shot at sinner sobriety stabbed suicidal ideation survival survivor therapy Uncategorized violence witness

Cry for Redemption

…there was nothing…but to keep chasing the high, reality became too painful…married you so…you could not testify against him?…

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accidents addiction aging parents angels beaten Beauty bible Birds broken heart caregivers cats change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependent colo/rectal cancer compassion conservation coping courage daughters death depression domestic violence earth Embarrassment emotions Equality eternal life everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love God's Word grief guilt happiness healing help homecoming hope inhumane injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Joy kindness life lessons mental illness metamorphosis murder nature pain paintings poems prayers predjudice PTSD rape recovery regret repent repentance riding the rails sacrifice sadness safety sinner sleep sorrow stabbed survivor The last Supper treasure violence war wild animals worry

3 Hours Sleep and I’m Feelin’ Good!

Righty O! How about that Picture, huh? Oh, my… .   That’s my “I’m so tired I can fall down right in this spot and sleep for a month” face. And it’s none too pretty. It’s also the most unflattering view of my nose…I was never unhappy with my nose until my Ex broke it . […]

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aging parents animals art artist Beauty bravery butterflies cancer change child abuse children chronic pain clean clean and sober codependent compassion coping courage Dad daughters depression domestic violence Embarrassment emotions family family relationships freedom friendship gardens gratitude growth guts happiness healing home homecoming hope injuries inner peace Joy kindness life life lessons Love memories mothers pain paradise peace poems rape recovery rest sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help survival survivor therapy treasure violence walking

SUSAN IS HERE! NEVER FEAR!!!

seems like an eternity ago, when my hair was long, and I still felt pretty. This is before all the accidents, surgeries and injuries and before Mom died.

…there is no “wait until” time to be beautiful…

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animals artist babies Beauty Birds bravery broken heart butterflies change children clean clean and sober codependent compassion conservation coping courage daughters earth emotions eternal life everlasting life faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship gardening gardens God's love gratitude growth happiness healing home homecoming hope injuries injustice inner peace Jesus Christ Joy jungle life life lessons Love memories Monarch butterflies mothers nature neighbors pain paradise peace pets planting poet pollution prayers puppies ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ recovery repent repentance rest sacrifice sanity self awareness self confidence shih-tzus sinner sobriety survival survivor The Memorial therapy treasure trees walking wild wild animals wildlife witness

The CLEAN Effect!

      Yessssssss….Deep inhale….Yessssss…. .  There is often some bright speck, a teeny-weeny glint, in the midst of devastation. Often this tiny glimmer of good goes unseen for years, decades, even centuries. I’m sure there have been major disasters where no bright side was ever found, the loss being only that. A loss. Losses. […]

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accidents animals beaten bible bipolar disorder bppv bravery change chronic pain clean and sober codependent compassion coping courage Dad death dementia depression domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion fear fretting gardening gratitude grief growth guts happiness healing help home hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love love. Jehovah God mental illness napping pain paradise prayers PTSD recovery responsibility rest safety sanity self awareness sexual assault sobriety sorrow stabbed survival survivor

VERTIGO, INSOMNIA and PAIN (oh, my!)

Cant wake up. I feel like I am sick inside, hot and cold, sticky and uncomfortable one minute , all dry and freezing the next. I feel like I’m going thru withdrawals, and twitchy, jerky-but from what?!? I feel that it is the Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo that I have endured since a series of […]

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beaten bipolar disorder bravery broken heart child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent coping courage Dad daughters depression domestic violence emotions enduring exhaustion family relationships Fathers fear Forgiveness grief growth guts hate healing help hope injuries injustice insanity kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness pain peace prayers pregnancy ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery repent sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault sinner sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy violence witness worry

Re-Abused, Re-Raped, Re-Traumatized

I did something today that has me all twisted up inside like it just happened…And I thought I was SO far Over It, So Healed, So Strong, So SMART. All the years and years and years of therapy, and here I am again. Bruised, tattered, and lying on the cold floor of a dark green tent, somewhere […]

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art artist bipolar disorder bravery broken heart change child abuse children chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent compassion coping courage death depression domestic violence emotions exhaustion fear Forgiveness freedom God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth guts happiness hate healing hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis pain paintings paradise peace PTSD rape recovery regret repentance responsibility sacrifice sadness safety sanity self awareness self confidence self help sexual abuse sexual assault shot at sinner sleep sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor therapy Uncategorized wild worry

Many Days Since

moody

I am here again, on lock down of my own making. Wanting the isolation while longing for company. I feel unsure, unsteady, and oh, so tired. The dialogue inside my head has slowed, and the gist of it is dire, down and miserable. I hate myself like this, and that adds to my misery because […]

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apostles artist beaten Beauty bible bipolar disorder bravery broken heart brothers change child abuse chronic pain clean and sober codependency codependent compassion coping courage Dad daughters death dementia depression disciple making disciples domestic violence emotions enduring eternal life Eternal life in paradise everlasting life exhaustion faith family Fathers fear Forgiveness freedom friendship God's love God's Word gratitude grief growth happiness healing help home hope injuries injustice inner peace insanity insomnia Jehovah God Jehovah's promises Jesus Christ Joy kindness life life lessons loneliness loss Love memories mental illness metamorphosis mothers neighbors pain paradise peace prayers preaching PTSD pulmonary embolism ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ rape recovery regret repent repentance responsibility rest sacrifice sadness safety sanity sexual assault sinner sleep sobriety sorrow stabbed suicide survival survivor The last Supper The Memorial therapy treasure violence wild animals witness

Musings on a Tuesday

Hello dear Friends, It has been such a struggle during this cold and gloomy weather to drag myself out of bed, to put my feet on the floor, to be motivated at all. I have in my mind always that I should be helping other people to come to know Jehovah, to help them see […]