Categories
life lessons

I Don’t Know Where I Am

That may sound strange…but I am lost inside my head now. All seems dark and dismal, and pain is all around me. I just want to sleep, but it brings no relief . I know that I must hang on , hang on to my faith, hang on to all I have learned about my illness.

It has been a while since I have felt this dark, and I must use all my strength to get back into the light. I want to run thru the woods and feel the sun on my face. I want to feel love again, and loved. I want Susie to come back, to feel hopeful and kind again. I know this will pass, I will white-knuckle my way thru…

Follow the bouncing ball…I don’t feel sane at all…

By Susan T. Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...