Welcome to my “refreshed” blog, now that my Susan T. Martin-Out of the Gutter blog has been repurchased as my Portfolio. We shall see how that goes. At the moment it looks as if I have shot myself in the foot, but perhaps as I tweak it my readership will recover…

So, this is me at the present, with my funky ” I am still Cool” hairdo. I happen to really like my hair this way, if only it didn’the need trimmed every extreme15 minutes! (I must cut down on those hair vitamins!) I have become obsessed lately with my scarred countenance, and have been investing in the latest full coverage cosmetics. This may be, and I think is, a response to the skin cancer I have been diagnosed with, which has resulted in more scars from the removal of many moles, etc.

Mom had to have a devastating operation on her nose to remove Basal Cell Carcinoma, and her self esteem never recovered. I had to constantly try to assure her that she was still the beautiful person everyone knew and loved. She would stare in the mirror and make a pokey noise and say, ” Yuk! I am SO ugly!”

Listening, I would ask her how she thought that made me feel as her daughter, and her “spittin’ image”. She would try not to complain, but the unsightly scars were as “plain as the nose on her face”. And likewise, mine.

As a child of parents with extreme acne, and my brother also plagued with this as an adolescent, I had a fear, of course. Hearing students at our school call him “zit face” makes me cringe to this day, and as I age I cringe more. It seems like all my physical flaws have just intensified and become magnified as the years pass…Where has my self confidence gone, the self worth I worked so hard to achieve?

My saving grace is my art. Here I can show myself in my purest form, and let my inner beauty flow onto the canvas, unhindered. I can find beauty in the mundane, in discarded and devalued objects I find all around me. Metaphors for myself, in old toolboxes, clocks, gutters and cinder blocks. I can cover them in rainbow colors, the paint is their  “cosmetic”, their “foundation”.

And after I am finished with this refuse, this trash, it is ready to be accepted, cherished, and loved. These artworks are still what they have always been, deep under their layers of misuse, abuse and the ravages of time…useful, helpful, dignified objects. Now, however, they are

Works of Art.

And in retrospect, so am I.

Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

Tony A. Blue

American artist - expressionist painter

Daydreaming as a profession

Daydreaming and then, maybe, writing a poem about it. And that's my life.


Emotional musings

she wrote

liv | poetry | 1997


Traveling Fashion Designers 🌼

Into the Unknown

all journeys start from the within


Digital marketing blog with articles on affiliate marketing, digital marketing and how to make money online without personally selling anything.


Evolving Thoughts

Maria Vincent Robinson

Photographer Of Life and moments

Bit of everything

Go with the flow-lifestyle blog

Becoming is Superior to Being

I come closest to succeeding by sharing.

Keys' Sparks

Igniting the fire in you

Ken Hallett Blog

Writing Lostness

Virtual Marionette

Your eyes, my lines.

Rain Coast Review

Thoughts on life... by Donald B. Wilson

From Equator to Igloo

Tales of silly adventures for basic amusement

Dr. Eric Perry’s Self-Help Blog

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

My Serene Words

Seeking Solace in the horizon of life & beyond

Izabell Key

breathe to write

Elan Mudrow


Chai and ChaCha

Chai & Chacha

Lluís Bussé

Barcelona's Multiverse | Art | Culture | Science

Susan T. Martin


Sincerely Sober

Living & Loving My Sober Life!

The Alchemist's Studio

Raku pottery, vases, and gifts

The Wind

blowing thru my BIPOLAR life...

Bittersweet turns

Deep Down Inside...

Invitation to the Garden

gardens, garden history, garden tours, landscape design, herbs, perennials, roses, Southern culture, Southern cuisines, travel


Hey, Nice to meet all of you, my name is Heather. I have BPD. I am here to share my everyday struggles with you, be a support for you, and I am here to chat with you if you want to chat...:)


through the darkness there is light


FollowUs @BipolarUs: A Global Bipolar Support Group • twitter.com/BipoIarUs • BipoIarUs.tumblr.com • facebook.com/BipoIarUs • instagram.com/BipoIarUs • BipoIarUs@outlook.com

Cristian Mihai

builds stuff

%d bloggers like this: