Painful Silence

How do I speak for him , when no one will listen?

I hear his cries deep, deep in my  heart-

even these miles apart.

They look at me with angry, sceptical eyes,

” how does she know more than us?”

Like I am telling lies.

“Just look at his eyes!”, I beg,

“Look at his face full of pain!”

Would you turn away from your own mother?

Would you deny the pain of your sick father?

Then why do you deny mine?

He’s NOT fine, It’s Not His MIND!


He is my Daddy, my good father-came to all my softball games.

Taught me Science, and reliance on the ways of learned men.

He is gracious, taught me manners-truly he’s a Gentle man.

Please don’t hurt him, don’t desert him-help him be heard

If you can…


I want to ask all of you, whether you are touched by Dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, or even if you are not- Educate yourself, educate your families, you children on how to help those who do not have a voice. Please, let’s not let our vibrant older citizens get thrown away by the medical personnel who cant hear their cries for help. Take the time to learn about Alzheimer’s / Dementia. It is effecting more and more people at younger and younger ages. So one day it may not just be your Grandma who can’t open a can of peas. It may be you, at 35, a young professional with the world at his feet. Feeling just the slightest tinge of memory loss? GET HELP EARLY!!!

I can not convey  the depth of my sorrow at not being able to help my Dad in the situation he is in. It is like putting your heart in a hand operated meat grinder and having the handle turned bit, by bit, by bit, until there is nothing left but a big red hole where the love used to live.

God hates injustice. I must also rely on my God to rectify things in His way, in His time. Then ,one day soon, no one will suffer from ANY illness, nor any injustice.

“A heart broken and crushed I will save”. so says Jehovah. And I know that God never lies.So my faith has to be stronger than all this negativity and sadness. My faith can move mountains and bring peace to my troubled heart tonight.

I pray that you all find peace and hope also.


Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...