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Keeping the Inspiration Alive!

I hope this lasts. This feeling that I really CAN be the artist I have always wanted to be, alive with ideas and creativity! That’s the trouble with being Bipolar-I must not think about this wonderful feeling leaving me again. It is like being in a dark room for 10 years, solitary confinement, and then suddenly the door is flung open and the light streams into your blinded, blinking eyes.

You walk out of that cell, stumble out, and the stench of decay and motionlessness sloughs off like an overcoat-the sunlight bathing you,cleansing your darkest recesses.

“Breath!! Breath!!”

“Feel!”

“Drink in the Air, the Sights, the Sounds!!”

Someone hands you a cold drink of water, fresh, right out of a mountain stream, and as you swallow your eyes clear to take in the cornflower sky, over a carpet of emeralds!

This is what it feels like to have my vision back, my imagination, my art. Like a huge boulder, like the Rock of Gibraltar, has rolled off of my hands! Give me the paints, the brushes…modeling clay…charcoal pencils…canvas…paper!!!

There is not enough time in a day, and my fitful sleep is filled with images and ideas.

Please, God, let this last, I beg you! Please don’t throw me back in that dungeon!

My mind must slow down or I will crash and burn, a doubt will intrude, and back I will scurry. Down the rabbit hole.

————————————————————————————————————-

NO!!!!

Not this time.

I am out.

without a doubt.

sing and shout!

I will lie down now, and dream about painting the Sistine Chapel, after all-I was born on the same day of the year as Michaelangelo. KIKO - WIN_20150510_150549

By Susan T. Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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