Fighting My Way Out…with Help!

Fighting my way out of Depression.

The first thing I have to do is turn to my Higher Power and give Him all this pain, He is much bigger than me, He can carry it and throw it away. He has His Active Force, His Holy Spirit to help me have “the power beyond what is normal”(2 Corinthians 4:7) if I only ask for it, so I am asking and pleading now. The wonderful thing is that even though my disease tells me there is no hope to feel better, I know deep inside that this is a lie. So I must FORCE myself, in the midst of the inertia of my illness, to DO SOMETHING to help myself. Even when that is the LAST thing I want to do.

So I pray, and I MOVE OUT OF THE DARKNESS, taking my head out from beneath bedcovers I have pulled tightly over my head. Prayer is a gift from God, a lifeline to raise me out of this pain. There is a particular scripture that has helped me so much over the years that perfectly describes what my relationship with God does in this regard. It is at Psalm 40, and it was originally penned by David as he was inspired with God’s Holy Spirit, His Active Force. Here I have taken excerpts: ” I earnestly hoped in Jehovah, and so he inclined his ear to me and heard my cry for help. He also proceeded to bring me up out of a roaring pit (my depression), out of the mire of the sediment (where I was stuck, immobilized by mental illness, as in quicksand). Then he raised up my feet upon a crag. He firmly established my steps…(Psalm 40:1,2 comments in parenthesis are mine).

What a marvelous healing provision from the Highest Personage in the Universe, to hear the tiny prayer from a tired, depressed human whose mind tells her she is not worth saving. He sees my heart, sees my pain, and reached out to stand me on my feet again. It is not a miracle cure, He gives me the mind to pick up the tools I need to fight this mental illness, provisions such as mental health professionals, meetings for worship that put me with others who have suffered the same way and recover, and His Word the Bible, as my guidebook.

Another example of God’s power to help me back to joy is found in the Bible book of Philippians, where we read, ” Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God, and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6.7). Beautiful isn’t it? How comforting to know that help is only a prayer and grain of faith away. I do not have to sit in a pile of despair and hopelessness forever.

To have this loving relationship with Jehovah, there are some things He asks from us in return, none of which are too difficult for even a  person like me. He asks that we love Him with whole-souled devotion, that we turn away from sin and repent of our past wrongs, and that we learn accurate teaching from His Word , the Bible. And another requirement is to pt Faith in  the Ransom Sacrifice of His pefect only-begotten Son, Christ Jesus. I was able to do this by putting my pride aside, letting light into my hate-darkened heart, opening my mind by asking humbly for God’s help and by accepting the offer from Jehovah’s Witnesses for a free home Bible study. Eventually I was able to qualify for baptism by water immersion, dedicating myself to my Wonderful God, putting faith in all His Loving Provisions, and in the Most wonderful Provision of all, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the greatest gift , the greatest act of Love ever expressed.

By writing this post and finding all these examples of God’s Love for me as an individual, I am lightened of this burden, this illness of Depression. No, it is not gone, and I will have to cope until the new system when everyone will be freed from the pain of mental illness, and every other sickness too.

.Praise God, and may you find peace also under the shelter of His mightly wings. Any one of Jehovah’s Witnesses can help you to learn more, and you can find help online at the official website,

Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s