Carol’s Legacy

Today she died, five years ago now. I am a better person for knowing her.

She will always be my best friend, my closest ally, my advocate and guardian.

She carried me for 9 months, and cared for me forever.

She stood up to all comers for me, and the best thing she did, she stood up to me.

She cared enough to practice tough love, to leave me in jail when it broke her heart, to watch the police car drive away, her child in handcuffs.

She disciplined me, and in doing so, saved my life-more than once.

She taught me what love is, when I could not love myself.

She stayed in a hurtful marriage for my brother and I.

She gave up a child to a better life.

She was brave, kind and funny.

She made strangers feel welcome, and loved fairies in books.

She hated to cook, but did it anyway, for a husband who did not appreciate her.

She put up with verbal abuse and an emotional onslaught for over 50 years because the Bible says, “God hates a divorcing.”

She gave up smoking because she wanted to make God rejoice.

She gave me all her secrets, and all her secret hurts and joys.

She stood beside me when I was wrongly accused.

She stood beside me when I was rightly accused.

She took the time to learn about mental illness, so she could help me.

She did the same with Fibromyalgia, and degenerative joint disease, and any other strange illness or condition I had.

She rubbed me down with alcohol when I was 48 and had 103 degree fever and chicken

pox, all while she was deathly ill from Chemotherapy.

Carol was lovely, soft and beautiful, with the most gentle hands you ever felt.

She could make your day with a smile, or make you cry like a baby if you hurt her, or someone she loves.

Carol saved wild cats, taming them and caring for them.

She worked hard all her life- at all she did.

She faced cancer with courage and grace,

and she faced death with a peaceful heart and huge faith in, and love for Jehovah God.

She was brave enough to worship Jehovah even in the face of her family’s opposition, and to get baptised.

Carol was the most amazing person I have ever known, and I am so grateful to have her as

my mother.

I look so forward to holding her beautiful face in my hands and kissing her, and hugging.

Neither of us will be sick when we meet again, and there will be no more hatred or fighting.

The earth will be a paradise, and we will live forever on it, surrounded by people we love.

Jesus Christ will be our glorious King, under his Father, Jehovah.

And death will be no more…


(see you soon Mommy!!!)

Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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