Give a Penny, Give a Pound

I used to know how to get by with little…very little. When I left my parent’s house, at first my mother gave me everything. Even though I lived with my boyfriend, we would go through our paychecks in one night, drinking and drugging, and there I would be at her door on Monday, palm out for cash. Addict that I was, when she refused, or said she didn’t have any, I would steal from her. Going into her wallet, using her bank card, forging her checks.

I used her so badly, but she loved me so much, and she was so codependent that she would give me more, more, more. I hate myself for all that hurt. I know, I was an addict, and I am not now. I was a thief, and I am not now. I had no morals, but I do now. All that seems lame. till I remember how she forgave me. And taught me how to love. She never gave up on me, even when everyone else did. She is the reason I sit here today, clean and sober, and very much alive.

And Jehovah has shown me how to love, I am so very grateful. When I was out there, sticking needles in my arms, he was waiting for me to hit bottom. He was never lost, I was. I used to say, ‘ I found God.’ That’s kind of silly, because he has been here all the time.



Today I was able to get my father ready in time to go to our meeting for worship. We go to a place called a Kingdom Hall, and there we listen to Bible based public discourses where anyone and everyone is welcome. The talks last 45 minutes and their is a beginning prayer, and a spiritual song, praising Jehovah. Jehovah is God’s name and it means ” He Causes to Become”, which means He will be whatever He needs to be to fulfill His Grand Purpose. God’s Kingdom is a heavenly government , with Jesus ruling it as King and redeemer.

Anyway, after the Public Talk, we sing another song that praises God, and then we study a Bible based publication called, “The Watchtower”. It is a question and answer discussion, and it is all Bible based. Today we talked about being grateful for all the amazing blessings we have from Jehovah, It was very moving and beautiful.

I thought you might also like the fact that no collections are ever taken. Jehovah’s Organization is entirely funded by voluntary donations. I find that to be so amazing.

Well, I thought you might enjoy learning a bit about how we Witnesses worship, and if I had some pics I would share them. Have a great night, and I will get  a poem written here soon!!!

Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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