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What Color Is Despair?

what color will you paint my soul?

what color will you paint my soul?

blues and greens in endless dreams

what color will you paint my soul?

what color will you paint my life?

what color will you paint my life?

blacks and reds of endless strife

what color will you paint my life?

what color will you paint my house?

what color will you paint my house?

winter white where no one shouts

what color will you paint my house.

what color do you think i see?

what color do you think i see?

a space of clear that once was me

what color do you think i see?

what color should i paint my walls?

what color should i paint my walls?

a shade of pink when no one calls

what color should i paint my walls?

what color should i wear?

what color should i wear?

it don’t matter no one’s there

what color should i wear?

why should i even try?

why should i even try?

cause if i don’t i know i’ll die

why should i even

try?

a poem of sorts by S.T. Martin 3/5/2015

By Susan T. Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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