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chronic pain coping depression dogs exhaustion family relationships Fathers injuries mental illness pets

The Who I Once Was, and Am Not

I am working on being a well person. My visiting nurse had called my Neurosurgeon this morning to ask for a refill on my break-thru pain meds, and I really am a miserable girl, but I think I am going to try not to take them anymore. I will go thru more intense withdrawals the longer I take them, so why not bite the bullet now? I am sitting propped up on the couch, as we speak, packed in ice, basically. I had the staples taken out yesterday (42), and so far I am healing up beautifully. As beautifully as a seven inch incision on the back of my neck, a 3 inch one on my throat, and another long one on my lower back can look. Ah, it adds to my character:-) . This ice is not doing much, BTW, so this is kind of a grouchy post. I walked the dogs about 50 feet today in the 100 degree heat in my plastic turtle shell. And Dad keeps turning the AC off, so I think I have sweated off about 50 lbs in the past4 hours. Remember that Nazareth tune, “Miss Misery”. Here I am… more later…

By Susan T. Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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