Impending Doom

I have been exhausted today. It could be because I trimmed trees, shrubs, weeded, watered, gathered branches, did laundry, walked dogs, fertilized the yard, took Dad to lunch, did dishes, cleaned the porch and walked the dogs again. I’m thinkng that I am going to hit the wall fairly soon. Especially since I have been feeling so warm and fuzzy- all lovey duvvy with the world. Remember that TERRIBLE sound in that Tom Cruise movie where giant walking bulldozers were taking over the world? Yeah, that one. Well, I think thats the sound that is going off in my head- telling me there is danger ahead. Not 100 foot tall Bulldozers on skinny legs that suck peoples blood out and spit the guts all over the place. No, the danger is when I feel that my world has just turned dark grey, when I don’t want to ever come out of my bedroom, when I feel so empty and broken that I have no tears left to cry. That is the danger I’m talking about.

So I drank a huge coke just now, and ate a chocolate turnover- all this after eating an Arby’s beef sandwich and drinking some kind giant, delicious mint chocolate shake creation.

So, I will have to have a sugar crash now, as a warm up.

Goodnight.Picture 089

Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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