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The Discomfort of Disbelief

"The Sentinel's Prayer", acrylic on canvas, Susan T. Martin2017

“The feeling of being doubted…is an ever-present background noise…”

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Cry for Redemption

…there was nothing…but to keep chasing the high, reality became too painful…married you so…you could not testify against him?…

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Built Up in Love

God's Promise©STMartin

…Know that you are loved…

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life lessons

I AM ANGRY

Angry, Squirmy, Restless, Hungry… I feel all tied up in knots inside, this feeling happens pretty often. I’ve missed a day of one of my Psych Meds, but usually it doesn’t effect me so soon if I miss a dose. So I am not sure that has anything to do with this terrible discomfort I […]

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The Night Air

Life on the southern Gulf Coast of Florida is pleasant for a portion of the year, when on the subject of weather. When I moved to South Florida in the early ’80’s we enjoyed it most of the year, and the few hottest months were July thru September. Then the most refreshing, crisp and dry […]

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PARTY GIRL!

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life lessons

The Sting of Stigma

Always feeling different, in a room full of schoolmates. Outcast, in my mind, just knowing that the kids could see inside me. It began in kindergarten, even then, when the little boy I was in love with ran away from me. Mom had asked me to get the recipe for his Mom’s Syrian Bread, but […]

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life lessons

Courage, Give Me Courage

Crossing the Deleware©STMartin

“ I want, so much, to do good in my life.” To be the opposite of who I used to be, when I was manipulative, jealous, selfish. But it seems that I have lost sight of my original desire, because after I wrote that first sentence, I realized that I haven’t thought too deeply about […]

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What Do You Think

I think it is a challenge to live a solitary life. I don’t dislike it, but I reminisce  too much about sad events. It’s like my past has tentacles that slither out of the photo albums, out of the closets, out of the desks and cabinets to wrap themselves, insinuate themselves into my present. I […]

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The SLOG of Joy

So many Secrets©STMartin

Grumble. Growl. Grunt. .   Swear. Sweat. Stomp. . Punch. Pound. Pant. .  Breathe. Binge. Boss. .  Shout. Scream, Smear. .  Fall in a heap, exhausted. Then get up, clean up, and do it all over again. .  There is joy in this. This “living” we do. No matter how sweaty, or dirty, or ugly, this […]